Blinded by Love
by Lucarioblaze
Summary: Everyone has a dark side, but no one would have expected a shadow to emerge from an unlikely individual. -DISCONTINUED-
1. It Starts Here

Everyone has a dark side, but no one would have expected a shadow to emerge from an unlikely individual. As corruption takes over his mind, he will have to face every impossible and unthinkable condition to get to where he wants to be, and become what he has only dreamed of.

Blinded by Love

Chapter 1

It Starts Here

Today is another day.

Just another day.

I stretched out my arms and looked around. It was dawn, seeing the sun peek out from behind the low clouds up ahead through the opened window.

I quickly rose from my sleeping position and over my team.

Syaoran-kun was still sleeping, meaning that I had woken up quite early for being myself.

Sakura-chan was snuggled up next to Syaoran-kun, and was sleeping away happily.

Mokona was sleeping away from the others, though it looked content just the way it was.

And lastly, I looked over to Kurogane.

My heart started beating slightly faster, and I smirked at myself. He was sleeping on his side, and though he appeared to be in a deep sleep, he slept lightly, waking to any sound or movement.

Standing up, and headed to the kitchen to begin making breakfast. As I turned the stove on, Kurogane arose from his makeshift bed. I decided to strike up a conversation with him, just for fun.

"Why, good morning, Ku-kun!" I cheerfully started.

"What the h-ll is with your nicknames?!" Kurogane growled. I ignored his comment and continued on.

"What would you like for breakfast?"

"Uh...just give me some miso soup and a second bowl of-"

"Kuro-tan, sorry, but I don't know how to make that." I hopelessly replied.

Kurogane's expression turned from thoughtful to ever so slightly disappointed.

"Okay, then just give me whatever."

"Then pancakes it is!" I quickly shifted moods to make the morning more upbeat. Anyways, who wants a gloomy start to a great day? Kurogane sighed and walked over to the table, where he was waiting for me to finish. His head was supported by his arm, propped up against the table. I was focused on not burning the pancakes, but my mind always wandered over to Kurogane.

He was there; right there, maybe I could tell him about...but maybe...I...he...

"Hey, Fai? I...I've been meaning to this for a while...I think now is the right time." Kurogane sighed and turned to me. I almost forgot to turn the stove off from the sudden statement before setting the table and placing the food in front of him.

"Yes?" I looked directly into his crimson eyes, so red, I felt completely safe staring into them...

"I...I've already told Sakura-chan and Syaoran-kun, but...now I should tell you."

"J-Just...go ahead." I couldn't believe what was happening. Maybe...maybe this was the day. Maybe this would be the day that-

"I'm engaged to Tomoyo. You know, Princess Tomoyo? The girl with long black hair, and-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know."

Oh, I knew her alright. The barriers around my mind collapsed instantly. The forces, defenses, everything, just shut down. Kurogane, my Kurogane, was just stolen away from Tomoyo-chan, without warning or notice before. I knew Kurogane was already interested in Tomoyo-chan before we had ever met, but I...I thought that he had given up on her, because he would most probably never ever see her ever again, and he would...

He would be with me. That's what I wanted. For Kurogane to be with me forever. With no one else.

"But, no worries, we'll still be friends. Best friends. And you can visit often, and all of us can meet together, once a year, to have our feather-collecting reunion, and..." I tuned down the rest of Kurogane's words, as much as I loved hearing his voice, to consider what just happened about fifteen seconds ago. Okay, so first Kurogane is engaged to Tomoyo-chan. Okay, second...

I couldn't think straight anymore. My throat was choking at me, and my eyes went cloudy. This can't be happening. Not now. Not yet. Not...not to _me_.

"...and after our reunion- ...F-Fai? Are you with me?" Kurogane looked worried, which is what I wanted him to feel. Worried about _me_. I sniffled before I began.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine..." Misery engulfed the space around me. Kurogane looked directly up into my eyes. He stood up, but his eyes were still locked with mine. He pulled me closer to his body, and held me.

"I'm sorry." I looked up at him, and stared into his eyes once more. This would be the last time I would see his eyes. His calm, crimson eyes.

I pulled away from him, and sat myself down for breakfast. He looked uneasy, because of my...distant emotions to him.

The whole morning routine went as follows, with Syaoran-kun and Sakura-chan thankfully not noticing, or knowing what had gone on between Kurogane and me. Mokona seemed troubled by the change, but it played along as if nothing happened. It assumed that the dispute would be over in a day, nothing more than maybe "Kurogane yelling at me, and me getting upset" or something aiming towards that scenario.

As the day went by, each hour a little closer to my plan, I really thought it through in detail. Each step, each part, would be carried out with precision, and only then would my work be successful.

Night began to fall, blanketing the sky with shadows. Kurogane insisted that he cook dinner, so I took a break and started to pack up my belongings, little by little, so no one would notice.

"Fai-san, would to care to play a game of cards with Sakura and I?" Syaoran-kun asked me. I was a bit shaken from my deep concentration.

"Okay, sure." I replied without feeling.

Syaoran-kun and Sakura-chan looked at each other, exchanging startled glances, and proceeded on to shuffle the cards. We played for a while, until Kurogane called us to the table for dinner.

He had prepared food from his country, so I decided to try it. After all, he...he _is_ Kurogane...and I've only tried his food a few times. He had the whole table set out, which is unusual for him, since before, he would just place the food down, and if you asked where the utensils were, he would say, 'go get it yourself'. There was rice, some...miso soup, boiled vegetables, raw fish, and...pickles. I sat myself down, and everyone else was already eating with chopsticks. I looked down at my plate and mentally gasped.

There were Western utensils. Like, a fork, a spoon, and a knife, neatly rolled up in a napkin. I revealed a small smile, and unrolled the napkin to begin the meal. There was some writing on the napkin, in Japanese, but...strangely, I could understand it.

残念に思う。

愛しています。

私の兄。

Sorry.

I love you.

My brother.

He...he said...

I looked up at him, at the other side of the table, but he avoided my eyes. Syaoran-kun and Sakura-chan had no idea of what was going on. They didn't know about what Kurogane wrote. But...at the end...he added "My brother"...so...

He didn't have the same feelings that I had for him. He only considered me as a brother. Only a brother...

"Fai-san, you haven't even started your dinner. Are you alright?" Sakura-chan questioned me.

"Yes," I began,

"I am perfectly fine." Kurogane looked up at me, expressionless. I quickly began to wolf down my meal, concentrating only on finishing.

After that, I swiftly folded the napkin and placed in into a hidden pocket in my fluffy white coat from Seresu. The sky darkened quickly, like black water dripping onto an azure sky, instantly staining it with ink. The dark...I love the dark. The darkness reminds me so much of...of myself. Of my past...I wish my brother could be alive, and see what has happened to me, what I've become. I've become a wild lover to Kurogane, a liar, a-

"Fai-san, what's the matter?" Syaoran-kun asked me.

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong-"

"This is something about Kurogane-san, isn't it?" I paused, and waited to see what he would say.

"Fai-san, is it or is this not about Kurogane-san?" Syaoran-kun asked more firmly. Now I had to answer.

"Yes, Syaoran-kun, it is." I replied blankly. "You shouldn't be feeling bad, Fai-san."

"I am not feeling bad that Kurogane is engaged to Tomoyo-chan."

Well, that gave it away.

"Fai-san...Kurogane-san didn't want to tell you because he knew you would be upset about it. You can still like him, just not..."

"Not the way I am right now."

"Right."

I...I can't. I can't give up on Kurogane. I can't forget him, put him in the past, because nothing that enters the past is forgotten. I...I love him too much to not love him. I wish...I wish that I could just change, so that he could love me, and not that moon princess. I love Kurogane...I love Kurogane so much...

"Fai, c'mon, time to go to sleep, and then we'll start packing for the leave tomorrow. Sakura-chan and Syaoran-kun are headed back to Clow, and I'm going-"

"Going to Nihon."

"Yeah, to go-"

"To go see Tomoyo-chan. And then you'll meet up with her and hug her and kiss her and carry her in your arms and you'll tell her that you love her."

"...What makes you say all of that?"

"Because I know, Kurogane, I know that you love her, and...and..." I paused, and thought.

"...and that you'll forget me, you'll forget Fai D. Flowright, because you'll be too caught up with her, because you'll be too caught up in the present, that you'll never remember your...your past. You'll never look back and take the time to remember the journey you took, with Syaoran-kun, Sakura-chan, Mokona, but most of all...me. You won't remember me, just because you'll be enjoying the present, you will never enjoy the past." My voice choked. Kurogane was silent.

His silence was calming, seeing him think about me, and what I had said.

"Fai, I won't need to worry about the past, because you'll be with me in the present."

"No." Kurogane was startled.

"You won't have it all, Kurogane. You'll have Tomoyo-chan, everyone else, everything your heart could wish for, but the one thing you won't have is me."

"What if my heart wished for you?" Kurogane's comment dazed me, but I shook it off.

"You would never do such a thing."

"Why are _you_ the one to be saying that?"

"Because you don't love me. All this time, every day with you, I would think, 'This is the day. The day Kurogane will tell me.' And as each day passed, I would keep my hopes up, hoping for my love to be returned...but today, my hope was cracked. My dream, now my broken dream."

"...Your broken dream..." Kurogane seemed to be lingering on that phrase.

"I know I'll see you again, so stop saying that I won't."

"This will be the last time you see me, because I'm not going to come back. Not ever. You'll only see me in the past, and unless you remember your past, this is the last of me. It won't matter how much you want me, because I'll never be with you." I faced away from Kurogane and started picking up my belongings, but Kurogane tapped my shoulder.

I turned around unhurriedly and he leaned into me and softly kissed my lips. I closed my eyes and kissed him back, though my heart ached to, since this would be the last time anything like this would ever happen. He was holding my cheeks with his hands, and I clutched his shoulders. We both slowly pulled away, and Kurogane still had no expression.

"I hope you'll remember that when I'm not there for you."

"I hope I will too." I stepped outside of the building that we were staying in, and I gripped my staff that was returned to me by Yuko-san. I also had my markings, though they were ruined, since...since Ashura-o was killed. They have no effect on my body, but I keep them to remind me of Ashura-o.

I had gotten everything...except for Kurogane's heart. No...I have to forget him...for now, in order for my world-traveling magic to work. I closed my eyes and started writing out the magic in Seresu script. The magic read, "take me away to another world"- ...that...wasn't that the song that was...at the Clover bar...in Oto...?

The magic started circling me and I kneeled down and let the magic engulf me.

A new life, starting over, to change for the better. I know that my choice is the right choice, and this world that I'm going to will teach me everything I need to know to...to...

To become what I've never become before. To become stronger, to endure this pain. This pain that will forever ache in my heart, choke at my throat, and consume my mind.

I'm going to Kanashimi.

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HAHAHA KUROFAI EPICNESS  
Okay, enough of my fangirl ranting (I have obsessions too), here are translation notes-

Syaoran's lack of use of honorific with Sakura and viceversa-  
Okay, they're close enough, since Yuko decided to give everything back that she stole- I mean, took, from everyone, so Sakura got her dumb memories back. (Sorry, I'm not that much of a SyaoSaku fan. In my opinion, it's waay too stereo-typical.)

Fai and Kurogane's lack of use of honorific-  
Okay, same story, they're close (SQUEE) and they don't use honorifics.

Screw my Japanese, I'm not so great, so tell me if I'm wrong with Kanashimi, all Japanese whizzes, because I think it means heartbroken. Tell me if I'm wrong, and I'll edit it.  
And I know half the Japanese symbols got messed up. It reads exactly what the translation is. I hope.

Okay, now to my comments-  
I just love love scenes. Don't you love love scenes? Sorry if I'm creeping you guys out, but...  
KuroFai, KuroTomo, and who does Kuro-chan choose? Tomoyo, the moon princess, over the dark- ahem, bright mage. Fai Fai, poor Fai, what shall we do with him...? Everyone who comments gets to give Fai a hug to make him feel better about Kuro-wanko. Nah, I'm kidding, comment at your wish.  
Oh, btw, Ku-kun is copehright meh. Ya wanna use it, you're gonna have to ask me. Kay?  
Err, I think that's it, and don't forget, KuroFai is one step around the corner to canon! I wish...


	2. To Love is to Hate

Chapter 2

To Love is to Hate

I opened my eyes and the sky was a thick black. I knew exactly where I was going, because, well...

I had been here before. Once, to be exact. I was still weak then, too weak for such harsh training like this. I'm still weak, but I'm strong enough to take this strict and forceful environment.

Following a dirt trail up to a building, I stopped and looked down. I quickly cast a spell, and the magical devices were uncovered.

"Hmm..." Just some identification scanners.

I walked through the magic and a camera popped up and flashed my picture.

It printed out a small card, almost like a license, and I looked at it.

The heading to the card read "The Academy of Superior Skills and Arts" and underneath it read, "where talent meets effort". I looked over to the center right of the card, and my picture was printed on the card. I looked somewhat surprised, but then again, I always look hilariously funny in pictures.

I smirked at the card and continued up the path, reading my card. Somehow the card knew all of my personal information, except my age. The card said I was twenty-two.

I...was not twenty-two. Maybe it based the age off my appearance. Hey, I look pretty good for my age...

I shook my childish thoughts off and entered the building. The room wasn't much of a room, the width about four of my arms' length and the room was more of a hallway, if you looked straight down. There were so many people, I could hardly imagine that everyone would try to sign up for-

A beast was crashing through the hallway, and everyone turned around and rushed out the door. It was almost like a wolf, only much taller and vicious. How could this happen? I've never heard of a rampaging- this is no time to think. This is time to act.

I quickly cast a spell and the beast fell asleep instantly. Someone else used a sword attack and the beast didn't die, it just...

Evaporated.

Into thin air, just vanishing.

I looked around, and only a few dozen people were left from the attack.

I looked at the person who had attacked the beast.

He was up to my shoulder in height, and he had long, thick hair up to his shoulders. Strangely, his hair was a very dark shade of blue. He was wearing black and dark blue armor, and he carried a pack that was draped around his neck, coming down to his hip. Along with that, he wore black boots up to his ankle, and silver metal was hanging off of the boots in all places.

"Who used that magic spell on the monster?" He suddenly questioned. He looked around the room with narrowed eyes. I raised my hand and stepped forward.

"I did." His head whipped around to look at me. He locked his sapphire eyes with mine.

"Good job, that was a good move to make, so that someone else would more easily be able to attack the monster." He instantly loosened his fierce look and smiled a bright grin at me. I smiled back.

"Thank you."

"No, thank you." I was starting to like him already. Our attention was turned to a man with russet brown hair up to his shoulder. It was tied in a ponytail, and his look was burning and ferocious.

"You have all arrived here for one reason. That reason is to become stronger, in whatever ability to specialize in, whether it be magic, attack, stealth, anything. All of you here, have just passed the first test given to you, the test upon arrival. Everyone outside of the door, have just lost their permits, and they will not be able to enter the building. They can try again in five years, standard time. First off, I'm sure everyone here knows what they're getting themselves into."

He paused and looked around and everyone, making sure no one hesitated.

"This academy is not just for the average person, or whatever race you are, like me-" He paused and he transformed into a wolf. Some people gasped, but I know that breed of humans. They are born from a group that can change to an animal, based on personality. Obviously, this guy's personality is, well, wolf-like. The man transformed back.

"This academy is for someone who aspires to become someone else, whatever that is to you. Well, more is explained when you get room assignments. But for now, if you want your picture to be retaken, then stand in this line. If you need personal information to be changed, stand here." He pointed to two different lines, and people started moving into lines. I started walking over to the picture line, looking at my card. Someone tapped my shoulder.

"Hey, what's your name?" The guy with blue hair questioned me excitingly.

"Fai D. Flowright. And yours?"

"Hekimori Burumun. But most people call me Buru-kun. What about you? Fuloruitu? That's an odd name." So this guy must be from Japan...Japan...

"You can call me Fai-san."

"Ah, okay. So...where you do come from?" Buru-kun's personality is quite different from his first impression.

"Seresu."

"I'm from Japan, but no one knows the area, so I shouldn't bother telling you where in Japan." He shrugged. I was next in line for picture retakes.

"Would you like to keep your previous picture?" The attendant asked me.

"Sure, why not?" I handed my card to the lady, and she reprinted the picture on the card.

"Smile!" She stated, and the camera flashed.

"Here is your picture. Would you like to retake it?" I looked at the picture, and in the picture, I had a small smile.

"Nope, it's fine."

"Alright, please wait a few moments..." She paused for a few seconds and then handed me my card along with the previous picture.

"If needed, head over to the other line to modify personal information. Otherwise, head straight down this hallway and another attendant will assist you from there." I started walking over to the line, and a girl with chestnut brown hair was standing in front of me.

"This isn't even my name, I would like to change it to Izumi Mizutani. I would also like to change my age to twenty-six years. My status is not mage, it's all-out, and that's it."

"Alrighty, here's your modified card. Please walk straight down this hallway and another attendant will assist you from there." The female spun around and walked into me.

"Whoops, sorry, I...I didn't see you there." She quickly bowed and started walking down the hallway, her face flushed. I shrugged and continued on towards the attendant.

"What personal information would you like to be modified?"

"I have one question."

"What is that?"

"What are the different kinds of statuses that can be used on this card?" I questioned.

"There are many statuses, here is a list-" A holographic image popped up and showed the different kinds of specialties there were.

I was a mage, no doubt.

"Okay, thank you." "Please walk straight down this hallway and another attendant will assist you from there." I started walking down the narrow hallway, looking around at the walls. It was mostly empty, except for some portraits of people. They were most probably the previous supervisors to this Academy. At the end of the hallway, there was a sharp turn, and another room followed. Walking in, an attendant stopped me.

"Please present your ID card for verification." I gave her the card. There was a silence, and she handed the card back to me.

"Identity confirmed. Fai D. Flowright, your room is room 0690. The exit to this building will be found if you walk straight down and make a right turn. There will be another building, and you will be able to find your room in there. Thank you for training at the Academy of Superior Skills and Arts." I nodded and followed her directions out the door.

Stepping outside, a fresh breeze blew from behind me, as if leading me to my room. I walked into the building that the attendant was talking about, and I found my room. Turning the knob to the wooden door, it opened, with a small creak, and I stepped in. Wow, what a surprise, here's Buru-kun, and...that girl from before...?

"Hey, Fai-san, I didn't know you and I got the same room together! This'll be fun!" Buru-kun cheered, pumping his fists to the air. The girl was sitting on a bed, on the lower bunk. She looked away from our conversation, and I proceeded to introduce myself. I'd better make sure no one gets the wrong idea about me, being...

"Hi, I'm Fai. What's your name?" I asked politely. The girl swung her head around to me and looked at me with timid eyes.

"I...I'm...Izumi...Mizutani..." She shyly replied, and blushed.

Hmm? What was the matter? Was it something I said?

"I'm from Seresu. And you?"

"Umm...I'm...I'm from..." She couldn't find the right words, which seemed odd, shouldn't everyone know where they live? Or, to be more precise, lived?

"Never mind that, what should I call you? Mizutani-san? Mizutani-chan?" I tried to get her to talk, because if we were to be in this place for at least a year, then I should get to know my roommates.

"Y-You can just call me...M-Mizu-chan." She stated finally.

"Alright, Mizu-chan, and Buru-kun, we should decide-"

"I call top bunk!" Buru-kun yelled breathlessly.

"Okay, then do you-"

"I-I'll...take the bottom bunk." Mizu-chan bashfully cut in. I sighed before continuing. I felt like a parent. Though, I've never had any kids...unless you count Sakura-chan and Syaoran-kun...

I smirked at myself and proceeded to place my belongings on the floor, while climbing up to the top bunk.

"Hey, Mizu-chan, I...I think you should move to the other bunk, since Buru-kun and I will use this bunk, and I'm pretty sure you don't want to sleep with-"

"I-I'll move my luggage...Fai-san." She started blushing again when she said my name. Does...does this girl...?

"Hey, Fai-san, so...tell me about yourself. Do you have any family, or friends?" Buru-kun looked up at me from the bottom bunk.

Hmm, I wonder how you're gonna answer that, Fai...?

"Well, I had an 'adoptive father', you could say, and a brother, but they..." I didn't need to finish for Buru-kun to get my point.

"What about friends?"

"Well..."

"Aww, c'mon, I won't bite." Buru-kun laughed.

"...I have a few friends..."

"Their names?" I coughed before starting to speak.

This, I was sure, would not end well. I would either break out into tears, which I'm forty percent sure will happen, I'll tell him I'm...which is a forty percent chance, or I'll get by, with ten percent.

"My friends are Sakura-chan, Syaoran-kun, Mokona, Yuko-san, there are a few more..." I trailed off, not wanting to say Kurogane's name.

_That_ would be a tragedy. I didn't want him to know that I'm a weak, unloving, merciless liar- no...I'm not that. I'm...strong, and compassionate, and I'm honest...but...am I heartless? Coldhearted? Is that what I am to Kurogane? Or is that what he is to me? Or...

"Fai-san, are you finished? Or do you have that certain special someone?" Buru-kun giggled.

"Like...like _that's_ going to happen." I choked at my words. I couldn't do this. I would tell him, if it wasn't for Mizu-chan in the room...but he'd think I was crazy, he'd avoid me, thinking I would like him, and my life would already start out chaotic.

"Well, okay, but I'll know, soon enough, that you have a special someone. I'm absolutely sure of it. I'll figure out who it is, and then I'll tell you her once I've solved this!" Buru-kun dropped dead on his bed and fell asleep.

I jumped down from the top bunk and tucked him in. He had left his ID card on his bedside table, and I decided to read his age.

Nineteen.

No wonder.

I smiled at him and started setting up my bedside table, which strangely was on the top bunk, using some odd magic spell, or expert architecture.

I pulled out a picture of Kurogane and me out of my luggage and set it on the table. I also pulled out a picture of Ashura-o and me, when I was around sixteen, at an annual fair that happened in Seresu.

My smile was so bright and lively in the picture of me as a child, and I glanced over at the picture with Kurogane. I noticed my smile- it wasn't one of those fake smiles I threw on at any given random moment. My expression...wasn't fake. I lay down on my bed, and pulled the bed sheets up. Tomorrow we started real training, and I had to have a good night's sleep in order for that to be accomplished.

Closing my eyes, I gently drifted into a quiet slumber.

KUROFAIKUROFAIKUROFAIKUROFAIKUROFAIKUROFAIKUROFAIKUROFAIKUROFAIKUROFAIKUROFAIKUROFAIKUROFAIKUROFAIKUROFAI

Yes yes! Done! Finally! Okay, translation notes.

Hekimori Burumun (last name, first name)  
He is an outgoing, confident nineteen year old, from Japan. That explains why he said last-name-first-name. I've based Hekimori _vaguely_ off Ryuo, so I've therefore added disclaimer to everyone.  
*Hekimori Burumun means "sea green forest" (Hekimori) "blue moon" (Burumun). Yes, I know that it was a direct translation for Burumun. I like it better that way.

The animal-transforming  
_That_, my friends, is ever-so-slightly based off of Twilight Princess, in case anyone was wondering.

"Fuloruitu"  
Obviously, Hekimori is from Japan, so he doesn't speak the same language as Fai. And, since Fai said, "Fai D. Flowright" [or Fluorite, doesn't matter], Hekimori thought that Fai's name was "Fluorite". That is why Hekimori pronounced Fai's last name in the best _katakana_ that he could of thought of.

Izumi Mizutani (last name, first name)  
She is a shy twenty-six year old from, well, I don't know, she didn't tell us. Ahem, by that, I mean you. Izumi seems to start to- ah never mind, I won't tell ya, you probably already know. We'll see more of her and what role she'll play in Fai's life...in _later_ chapters. Have fun waiting.  
*Izumi Mizutani means "water spring" (Izumi) "water valley" (Mizutani).

"Adoptive father"  
Yes, I do believe that Ashura-o was a father to Fai. Don't protest, I hate hating readers. That sort of made sense.

"...I'll tell you her once I've solved this!"  
Okay, this isn't much of a translation note, just something I wanted to point out, but, notice how Hekimori said "her". Okay, I'm done. No more on this subject. *smirk*

Now, onto my notes and/or comments!  
I'm sure Hekimori's enthusiasm will brighten Fai's days, though, does everyone at the Academy have a secret? Ooh, the suspense, now I've got ya thinking.  
This is going to be fun, writing Hekimori's personality. Really, it will be.  
Please review, I never actually begged for reviews, but it does motivate me to _finish_ the chapter. And remember, reviews score hugs for Fai!  
*Fai is sitting in the corner crying about Kuro-chan's engagement and about no hugs*  
Ehehe...


End file.
